But something touched me deep inside. The day the music died.
My Favorite Question
It has become my favorite question to ask at professional functions: “So what have you been doing for fun?”
I get quizzical looks, looks of bewilderment, confusion.
Fun? What is this thing “fun”? Why would anyone think about fun at a meeting of the bar association? Who talks about fun in serious professional settings?
I may not be the only one. But I’m certainly one of the few!
Fun Has Died
For so many, there is no fun. Life is serious. Work is serious. Time away from work is serious. Fun is fanciful. Fun has disappeared.
My friend Susan Biali, an accomplished flamenco dancer… wellness expert, speaker, writer, coach… and physician (!), wrote the magnificent book Live The Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You. On her Facebook page, she mentioned that she had seen a tee shirt that read: “Baylor Law School – Where Fun goes to die.”
Her sighting hit close to home. My Cornell law school classmates were a somber group. The rumors were true: students did razor blade pages from books on reserve. Competition was fierce. There wasn’t much in terms of lighthearted frivolity.
Time has not been kind. It seems as if most of my professional colleagues have lost their mojo: few have fun. Fewer still remember what fun once was.
One lawyer friend confessed to me that he used to love to wash his car on Saturday mornings because, for him, it was fun. But because the time wasn’t “billable,” and there was so much pressure from his firm to produce, he couldn’t enjoy what was once a simple pleasure. How sad is that!
There are exceptions: my lawyer-friend Mark likes to heli-ski; Jamie is a triathlete; my friend Harry finds joy in his home on the coast of Maine.
But by-in-large, it seems like adulthood is where fun has gone to die.
It doesn’t need to.
We are meant to have fun!
Find The Fun – And Follow It!
Fun feeds us. Fun nourishes our souls. Fun makes us whole. And it’s only when we’re whole and complete that we can best serve those we love; it’s only when we’re whole and complete that we can bring our gifts to the world.
Aristotle believed that happiness is life’s central purpose. It’s tough to be happy if you’re not having fun.
Our most important work according to the writer Alexandra Stoddard, recognized as a pioneer of the “Happiness Movement,” is “the active joy of living fully every moment.”
Active joy is fun.
Biali asks, “Is Fun alive and well in your life, or has it died a few deaths over the years? What do you do to make sure Fun lives in your life? And if necessary, how might you resurrect it?”
Here are some ideas:
- Lighten up. Take yourself less seriously.
- Take some unscheduled time off.
- Go to the beach; go to the movies; go to a museum.
- Draw; photograph; paint.
- Raft a river; climb a mountain; go on safari.
- Play; dance; go to a costume party; sit by the fire and tell stories.
In his Stanford University commencement address, Apple founder Steve Jobs said:
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something….
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose…. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
There is no reason not to follow the fun.
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