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Grow & Scale A Business That Will Set You Free
Be Like Flaco
He captured their hearts; grabbed their attentions; and piqued their imaginations.
Why?
Because Flaco broke free.
Flaco. The Owl. Who lived in the Central Park Zoo.
Until, a vandal cut a hole in the wire mesh of his enclosure.
And out Flaco flew.
There was a great outpour of consternation at first.
Flaco looked pretty scared and tentative.
He had a hard time with the whole flying thing.
Because after all, he’d lived in a tiny cage nearly all of his life.
He was fat, and out of shape.
And didn’t have any clue how to find food.
People worried that New York wouldn’t be kind to this wayward bird; that Flaco would get lost or hurt or die of starvation.
But within two weeks, Flaco got strong.
Floco has been out free for a year now.
He flies quite well; like an owl!
And appears quite confident; indeed, dare I say, happy.
Because Flaco is free.
And isn’t that what you want?
To break free of the drudgery, the grind, the mundane, the run-of-the-mill.
To get out from underneath the constant hustle, the debt, the hermetically sealed office, the deluge of social media, the non-stop onslaught of text messages, notifications, and alerts.
To become unencumbered of responsibilities; unfettered of the expectations of others.
Unchained.
Uncaged.
Free.
Finally free.
Is that a pipe dream?
A thing that only owls get to do?
I say not!
Oh sure, you’ve got responsibilities.
A job. A family. Groceries. A house or apartment. Bills to pay.
I get it.
I was a single dad who raised three boys on his own, for a dozen years, while managing a law firm and endeavoring to keep my shit together.
But you can take small steps toward freedom;
- Carving out oases of time for yourself;
- Keeping yourself healthy and well;
- Avoiding the siren call of more stuff;
- Eschewing credit card debt;
- Taking long weekends; and mini-vacations.
And, the most important of all: create work that gives you a great life.
Way too often, I see people try to cram life into the cracks and crevices of 60-hour work weeks. Which is to say, too many people live just to work. I say, build the work – craft it mindfully and intentionally – so that it is the vehicle for your amazing life.
I say: Be Flaco.
You Will See Tigers
“I’m going to stop working in five years,” Peter said. “After I’ve finished paying for my son’s law school tuition.” (This after Peter told me that the average lifespan of a trial lawyer is 57. Peter, a trial lawyer, was 55.)
“I’m going to start the fitness program as soon as my son starts kindergarten.”
“I’m going to go back for my degree when my youngest is out of college.”
“We’re going to take the trip to France right after I finish the next project.”
“I can’t take time off this year; we’re down a staff member.”
“If the house didn’t need painting this year, we’d get away to the Cape.”
“If I could just find a new job and a fresh place to live, I could get out of this crappy relationship.” (This more than six months after we first had this conversation.)
“Before I do the product launch, I need to take the copywriting course and learn SEO.”
“I’m going to finish the book (really I am), but right now I just don’t have the time.”
As a coach, I hear every story there is about why it is that now is not the right time, the auspicious time, the convenient time to do what we feel called to do, drawn to do, really want to do; to do what makes our hearts sing, our spirits soar.
Perhaps out of fear (of success or failure), or convention (what will people think?) or inertia or resistance, we create (artificial) barriers to the lives we really want to live; we imagine forces that must be fought and overcome before we do what really makes us happy. We imagine tigers that must be slain.
I love that old Buddhist story of the monk who is being chased through the jungle by tigers. He comes to the edge of a cliff as the tigers close in behind him. A hundred feet below, six more tigers claw at the base. The monk jumps from the cliff and on his way down grabs for a vine to stop himself. As he hangs by the vine, he sees a mouse gnawing at it. And just in that moment, he spies a fresh ripe strawberry growing out from the cliff face. The monk plucks the strawberry, tastes it and revels in its sweetness. ”My how good this is,” he says.
Here is the truth: Now is all we have. Now is the only moment in which we can create the lives we want to live.
As I write in Journeys, “dreams delayed are dreams denied.”
When we defer the call of our souls, we get angry and sad and bitter and resentful.
And the reality is, a step in the direction of our dreams usually doesn’t require a whole lot of time or a ton of resources or monumental change. We don’t need to throw the baby (or the husband) out with the bathwater. The step forward can be a tiny one.
And then another.
Do what you’ve always dreamed of doing.
Do it now.
There is no time to waste.
There will always be tigers.
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When you’re ready to banish the tigers and create something new, let’s talk. Email me: walt@walthampton.com
Where Fun Goes To Die
But something touched me deep inside. The day the music died.
My Favorite Question
It has become my favorite question to ask at professional functions: “So what have you been doing for fun?”
I get quizzical looks, looks of bewilderment, confusion.
Fun? What is this thing “fun”? Why would anyone think about fun at a meeting of the bar association? Who talks about fun in serious professional settings?
I may not be the only one. But I’m certainly one of the few!
Fun Has Died
For so many, there is no fun. Life is serious. Work is serious. Time away from work is serious. Fun is fanciful. Fun has disappeared.
My friend Susan Biali, an accomplished flamenco dancer… wellness expert, speaker, writer, coach… and physician (!), wrote the magnificent book Live The Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You. On her Facebook page, she mentioned that she had seen a tee shirt that read: “Baylor Law School – Where Fun goes to die.”
Her sighting hit close to home. My Cornell law school classmates were a somber group. The rumors were true: students did razor blade pages from books on reserve. Competition was fierce. There wasn’t much in terms of lighthearted frivolity.
Time has not been kind. It seems as if most of my professional colleagues have lost their mojo: few have fun. Fewer still remember what fun once was.
One lawyer friend confessed to me that he used to love to wash his car on Saturday mornings because, for him, it was fun. But because the time wasn’t “billable,” and there was so much pressure from his firm to produce, he couldn’t enjoy what was once a simple pleasure. How sad is that!
There are exceptions: my lawyer-friend Mark likes to heli-ski; Jamie is a triathlete; my friend Harry finds joy in his home on the coast of Maine.
But by-in-large, it seems like adulthood is where fun has gone to die.
It doesn’t need to.
We are meant to have fun!
Find The Fun – And Follow It!
Fun feeds us. Fun nourishes our souls. Fun makes us whole. And it’s only when we’re whole and complete that we can best serve those we love; it’s only when we’re whole and complete that we can bring our gifts to the world.
Aristotle believed that happiness is life’s central purpose. It’s tough to be happy if you’re not having fun.
Our most important work according to the writer Alexandra Stoddard, recognized as a pioneer of the “Happiness Movement,” is “the active joy of living fully every moment.”
Active joy is fun.
Biali asks, “Is Fun alive and well in your life, or has it died a few deaths over the years? What do you do to make sure Fun lives in your life? And if necessary, how might you resurrect it?”
Here are some ideas:
- Lighten up. Take yourself less seriously.
- Take some unscheduled time off.
- Go to the beach; go to the movies; go to a museum.
- Draw; photograph; paint.
- Raft a river; climb a mountain; go on safari.
- Play; dance; go to a costume party; sit by the fire and tell stories.
In his Stanford University commencement address, Apple founder Steve Jobs said:
For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something….
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose…. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
There is no reason not to follow the fun.
SOSDD or DIY
Have you already settled back into the familiar slipstream?
The year began with so many possibilities.
A few weeks in, it’s easy to lose sight of them.
But you can still claim those hopes and dreams you had back on the threshold of the New Year. You can still choose.
- Will you choose health and fitness?
- Will you choose work that deeply satisfies?
- Will you choose a relationship that nourishes and enriches?
- Will you choose to serve and share?
- Will you choose to learn and grow?
Or will you default to the same old same old?
Most folks who make New Year’s resolutions – and frankly only a few brave souls even bother – abandon the effort by the end of January (that’s right, by the end of this month). That’s because their “why” isn’t big enough; their drive is not strong enough; their discipline is not honed enough; and their vision is not clear enough.
And then this year becomes just like the last. SODD. (Same old shit different day.) Dull, bland, and vanilla.
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can create a masterpiece. You can choose to make your life extraordinary. You can design a life lived on your own terms, rich and full and satisfying: A purpose-driven life.
Designing It Yourself is not easy; it’s not simple. The DIY path is steep and winding. There are obstacles and dangers; fears and frustrations; and failures along the way.
And it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. Those who take on the project of life design know that the road ahead will be filled with challenges, that they will need good mentors and coaches, that they will need to avoid the naysayers, and that they will need to surround themselves with folks who will affirm their effort and support the journey.
But, damn, it’s a whole lot more interesting – and fun; a whole lot more textured and satisfying – filled with wonder and awe – than vanilla.
To live out loud; to push beyond your comfort zone; to explore the impossible; to live with intention and purpose, with passion and possibility, with vision and hope; to live a life designed and co-created; to share with the world the gifts that are yours alone to share; to serve at the highest level possible; to lead the way for others: That is your call. That is the obligation that each of us has in the world.
And if you take on this challenge, if you live from that place of authenticity and vibrancy, then a year from now, you will look back and say, “Wow, what a ride this has been.”
Step up. This is your year.
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If you’d like support along your chosen path, schedule a complimentary breakthrough strategy session today! Email me at: walt@walthampton.com
About That Lie
I want to talk with you about that lie that you tell.
That one you tell all the time.
To yourself; to anyone who will listen.
That soothing lie.
That seductive pernicious one.
The one that goes like this: There’s time.
That there will be time to go on that trip you want to take, that second honeymoon, that book you want to write, the degree you want to get, the art you want to make, that new job, the new career….
That there will be time to heal the rift, soothe the hurt, and fulfill the dream.
That there will be time to connect with your precious boy, your sweet girl, that beautiful grandchild.
That there will be time to walk hand in hand on the beach; slow dance in the city square on a summer night; sip the coffee; savor the wine; and watch the sunset.
That there will be time after you get through this quarter, this year; after you’ve made a partner; gotten the promotion; after you’ve lost the weight; after the kids are out of high school, or college, or their student loans are paid off; after you’ve finished with the mortgage; after your husband retires; or you retire….
I want to talk with you about it because 2023 is a distant memory; you said maybe you’d get to it after the holidays, and it’s the middle of January…. because this year will disappear in the rearview mirror as fast as the last.
I want to talk with you about it because tomorrow is promised to no one; because now is all there is, and now is all you have.
I want to talk with you about that lie you tell… because I tell it too.
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When the time is right, when you’re ready to switch up the game, let’s talk. Email me: walt@walthampton.com
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