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Staying Curious

by Walt | Aug 22, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

It’s really easy to get stuck in your own way of seeing the world.

We tend to surround ourselves with like-minded people, consume media that reinforces our beliefs, and avoid engaging with those who think differently. This feels familiar and safe. But it ultimately leads to more separation, isolation, and even loneliness. It also contributes to the increasing polarization we see around us, making it harder to connect with others and learn from their experiences.

But what if you approached the world with curiosity instead of judgment? Staying curious invites you to ask questions, to explore, and to see things from new angles. Curiosity will help you to understand why someone might think or feel differently, opening the door to more meaningful connections. Curiosity allows you to listen more deeply, without the need to immediately agree or disagree.

When you remain curious, you’re less likely to fall into the trap of defensiveness or to shut down conversations before they’ve even begun. Instead of adding fuel to the fire of hatred or division, you create opportunities for dialogue, for learning, and for growth. You become more resourceful in how you interact with others, finding common ground where you might not have seen it before.

Curiosity is not about being naive or ignoring your own values. It’s about being open to the idea that others might have something valuable to offer, even if their perspective is different from yours. It’s about recognizing that your own understanding is always evolving, and that you can learn from every interaction if you’re willing to stay open.

In a time when it’s easier than ever to retreat into our own bubbles, staying curious is a powerful tool for bridging the gaps that divide us. It’s a way to resist the pull of polarization and instead move toward a more connected, compassionate, and inclusive world.

Will you give curiosity a go?

Paying Through Your Nose

by Walt | Aug 15, 2024 | Success | 2 Comments

In today’s world, there’s a constant demand for your attention. Notifications, emails, social media, and a never-ending stream of news updates all compete for your focus. It’s no wonder that you often feel scattered, distracted, and overwhelmed. This unrelenting pull on your attention leaves you fatigued and stressed, and it ultimately takes a toll on your well-being.

Simone Weil once said, “Your attention is your fate.” This simple yet profound statement reminds you that the way you direct your attention shapes your life. Every moment, you are making choices about where you focus your mental energy. But are you aware of what you’re investing in? Are you consciously choosing to pay attention to what truly matters, or are you allowing distractions to dictate your focus?

Imagine your attention as a form of currency. Just as you’re careful with how you spend your money, you should be equally mindful of how you “spend” your attention. Each time you give your attention to something, you are making a payment. The critical question is: What are you buying with it? Are you investing in activities and relationships that nourish your soul and bring you joy? Or are you spending your attention on things that drain your energy and leave you feeling empty?

The problem with the current attention economy is that it weakens your ability to focus. Like a muscle that isn’t exercised properly, your attention span atrophies when constantly fragmented. This erosion of focus makes it difficult to engage deeply with anything, leading to a superficial experience of life. The more scattered your attention, the less you are able to connect with what truly matters.

One way to regain control over your attention is to build intentional pauses into your day. These pauses can be simple moments of mindfulness—a few deep breaths, a brief walk, or a quiet moment of reflection. During these times, ask yourself: Where has my attention been? Is it where I want it to be? These check-ins help you become more conscious of how you are spending your mental currency and allow you to redirect your focus toward what truly enriches your life.

Setting boundaries for your attention is another important practice. Just as you wouldn’t spend money recklessly, you shouldn’t give your attention away without careful consideration. This might mean setting limits on screen time, turning off notifications, or carving out specific times for meaningful activities like reading, engaging with loved ones, or simply being present in the moment. By protecting your attention, you create space for deeper connections and more fulfilling experiences.

Ultimately, where you place your attention reflects your values. If you say that certain aspects of life are important to you—whether it’s relationships, personal growth, or creativity—then you need to ensure your attention aligns with those values. This alignment brings more integrity and purpose to your daily life.

In a world filled with distractions, reclaiming your attention is a radical act of self-care and empowerment. By choosing to focus on what truly matters, you can live a more intentional, meaningful life. So commit to being more mindful of how you spend your attention, investing it in ways that bring you closer to your true self and to the people and activities that enrich your life.

Enoughness

by Walt | Aug 8, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

When is enough? And where?

We’d been trapped for 4 days.

On a tiny snow-covered ledge.

At nearly 21,000’.

Blowing, drifting snow.

Hurricane-force winds.

Temps well below zero.

We were out of food and fuel.

Morale was low.

Actually morale was gone.

At dawn on the 5th day, there was sun. A lot of wind still. But sun.

Most summit attempts start well before dawn. Because of the danger of late day storms.

But… I thought, maybe, just maybe, we could get to the summit and back. And maybe, just maybe, if the weather held, we could descend to basecamp the next day.

It took a long time to dig out our gear from the snow. And longer still to get geared up. It can take twenty minutes at that altitude just to lace up your boots.

Off we went at about 9 am. Four of us.

Completely beaten down and depleted after 4 storm-battered days and nights in a small nylon tent.

My three comrades soon called it quits.

I made an agreement with myself: My turnaround time would be 2:00 pm. Late in the high mountains. But doable I told myself.

I stepped out on the Gran Acarreo, a huge traverse across a thirty-degree snow slope dropping off thousands of feet to my right.

Unroped. Not a soul in sight.

Three thousand feet below, I could see storm clouds forming.

Two pm came and went.

Deluded by altitude, you tell stories to yourself.

I came to the base of the infamous Canaleta. A steep snow and rock-filled gully that climbs 800’ to the summit ridge.

The clouds filling in; and the snow beginning to blow.

I had the summit in the bag, I told myself.

Kicking steps in the snow, I worked my way up to the top of the Canaleta.
On that narrow ridge top, at 23,000’, I could see – well I could kind of see – how the sheer Great South Wall of Aconcagua dropped off 5000’ to my right.

Another 20 minutes and I was there.

I looked at my watch. It was 4 pm. Two hours after my turnaround time.

The visibility was less than 10 or 20 feet.

It was brutally cold. Snowing hard. Blowing hard. Oh. And there was thunder and lightning.

I was a long way from my tiny nylon tent; and a long, long way from home.

Standing on the summit of Aconcagua, the highest summit in the western hemisphere, one of the Seven Summits of the world is a coveted objective. A huge achievement by most standards.

But there I was. All by myself. In a raging storm. Alone. Lonely. Frightened. And sad.

Thousands of miles away, I had the corner office at the Big Firm, a nice house in the suburbs, a cool car, and a beautiful boat. But none of that seemed enough. None of that satisfied a deep longing. For something.

Achieving a big goal would make it all better, I’d told myself.

I was wrong.

Standing on that summit felt hollow and empty.

Unsatisfying.

I was searching for meaning and purpose.

But in the wrong places. In the wrong ways.

Two of the most fundamental and interrelated questions we grapple with as human beings are: Am I enough? And… Will I be loved?

The yearning, the searching for enoughness drives most of us for most of our lives.

Am I good enough? Successful enough? Pretty enough? Handsome enough?

Do I look as if I am enough?

Probably not, we conclude. Over and over and over again.

And so we spend our lives striving.

Yearning.

Seeking.

Climbing big mountains.

Getting the corner office.

And the nice car.

And the beautiful house with the carefully manicured lawn.

The search for enoughness fuels the ad industry, and the weight loss industry, and the fitness industry and the auto industry and the beauty industry, and the bridal industry, and the fashion industry and the landscape industry.

Because if we can’t feel enough, at least, maybe, we can look enough.

But enoughness is never outside yourself. It is within.

Always within.

And already there.

You are loved; and you are enough.

Just as you are.

Purpose Driven

by Walt | Aug 1, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

We shall never cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

— T.S. Eliot

I spent years; decades even.

I conferred with priests and ministers.

I consulted with counselors and therapists.

I sought out spiritual directors and shamans and energy healers.

I even hired a high priced consultant.

I was looking for my “purpose.”

I’ve discovered that I wasn’t alone.

I’ve come across lots of folks in the course of my coaching practice lately who are searching for their “purpose.” Folks from all walks of life; between jobs; coming out of dissolving marriages (and in happy ones); looking for the next step (or the first one); weary of their professions (or just ready for a change); certain that there is something “more,” but without a clue as to what that “more” might be.

They’re searching for their purpose because, for many, finding it really does matter. Because living day to day with a sense of purpose is important. Because, ultimately, we all want to make a difference with our lives; we want to make an impact; we want to leave the world a better place.

Purpose is a sense of mission, a vocation, a calling; a grand arc. More than a job or a role, it’s a sense of wholeness that weaves the pieces of our lives together.

The act of searching, though, can become a distraction; an excuse; a reason not to get our hands dirty, to buckle down and do the work. Searching for our purpose sounds important. And if we’re doing something as important as searching for our purpose, like a Holy Grail, how could we possibly have time to find the job, get the degree, launch the product, write the book, paint the picture or compose the song? Those are things you do after you’ve found your purpose! I should know! I’ve engaged in my fair share of circle jerking purpose searching.

“So how do you find your purpose? people ask.

I’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be rocket surgery.

What excites you? What lights you up? What quickens your heart? What draws you like a moth to a flame? Where do you lose yourself in time? What have you always wanted to do? What brings you joy? What would you do, even if you weren’t getting paid to do it?

Sometimes we think that “doing” our purpose has to be hard; or that working at our purpose will require toil and sacrifice. But just the opposite is true.

Ask yourself instead: what makes you happy, what’s fun? In fact, ask yourself what would be too much fun to do? That likely will point you in the right direction of your purpose.

But, ultimately, remember this. We really don’t have the time to search for yetis or lost cities. The clock is running. And every second counts.

Just get busy. Purpose has a way of finding you.

Purpose is about discovering what has been within you all along.

It’s about loving deeply and serving freely; it’s about sharing the gifts that only you can share with the world.

Likely, your purpose is close at hand; right here; right now; right where you are. Doing the work you are doing in this very moment.

Don’t miss it.

Worry Worry Everywhere

by Walt | Jul 25, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.

— Michel de Montaigne

I come from a long line of worriers.

My grandfather was a worrier. He would wring his hands for days before he’d travel about what the weather might be on the day he was set to start out. And when he’d arrive, he would become obsessed about what the weather might be for his return.

My father was a worrier. He worried about the weather too. And the stock market and his business and his health and his children and their children and whether he should retire or not retire and what may or may not happen in the next hour or on the next day or the next week or the next year. And did I mention that he worried about the weather?

I’m a worrier too. And I can be even more resourceful than my father.

“Worry saps energy, warps thinking and kills ambition,” said Dale Carnege in his classic How To Stop Worrying and Start Living.

Worry is a waste.

Worry is the bastard child of Fear.

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear resides deep in the ancient part of our brain, the amygdala. It served us once. When we hunted on the plains and needed to avoid the predators: the mastodons and the woolly mammoths.

But as I drove to the coffee shop this morning, I noticed a curious thing: the landscape appeared devoid of wild beasts.

Today, fear is the predator.

Fear limits. Fear paralyzes. Fear diminishes. Fear robs you of opportunity.

With fear, you fail to live life fully.

There’s a really good book on fear: Feel The Fear …And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Jeffers says, “We can’t escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all of our exciting adventures; it is not an anchor holding us transfixed in one spot.”

But how do you transform it? By holding it and moving through it. By feeling it – deeply – and doing what makes you afraid – anyway.

It sounds overly simplistic. But it really is supported by the “evidence.”

Mark Twain said, “I’ve seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.”

Jeffers says: “It is reported that more than 90% of what we worry about never happens. That means our negative worries have less than a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, isn’t being positive more realistic than being negative? Think about your own life. I’ll wager that most of what you worry about never happens. So are you being realistic when you worry all the time? No!”

Fear never goes away. As long as you grow, fear goes with you. Those of you who journey out on the edge recognize fear as a pretty steady companion. But the paradox is, that in moving through your fear, you do grow.

And here was the big revelation for me: everyone is afraid. You’re not alone. No matter how successful someone is, no matter how confident someone appears, fear looms in the dark recesses, in the unknown, the untried, the unexplored.

Whenever you risk – whether in business, in relationship, or at play – you invite fear.

But as Jeffers says, “Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.” If we don’t confront our fear – and move through it – we stay stuck. And fear full.

“Courage,” Mark Twain said, “is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” He also said, “Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

Ultimately, the conquest of fear is about trust: trust in yourself. “All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way,” says Jeffers.

Trust. Trust that you can handle it.

Whatever comes your way. You can handle it.

(I wonder what tomorrow’s weather will bring?)

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Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Is time passing way too quickly? Are you ready to create that exciting next chapter? Let’s connect. Email me: walt@summit-succcess.com

And stop by for a visit at: https://summit-success.com/