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Purpose Driven

by Walt | Aug 1, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

We shall never cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

— T.S. Eliot

I spent years; decades even.

I conferred with priests and ministers.

I consulted with counselors and therapists.

I sought out spiritual directors and shamans and energy healers.

I even hired a high priced consultant.

I was looking for my “purpose.”

I’ve discovered that I wasn’t alone.

I’ve come across lots of folks in the course of my coaching practice lately who are searching for their “purpose.” Folks from all walks of life; between jobs; coming out of dissolving marriages (and in happy ones); looking for the next step (or the first one); weary of their professions (or just ready for a change); certain that there is something “more,” but without a clue as to what that “more” might be.

They’re searching for their purpose because, for many, finding it really does matter. Because living day to day with a sense of purpose is important. Because, ultimately, we all want to make a difference with our lives; we want to make an impact; we want to leave the world a better place.

Purpose is a sense of mission, a vocation, a calling; a grand arc. More than a job or a role, it’s a sense of wholeness that weaves the pieces of our lives together.

The act of searching, though, can become a distraction; an excuse; a reason not to get our hands dirty, to buckle down and do the work. Searching for our purpose sounds important. And if we’re doing something as important as searching for our purpose, like a Holy Grail, how could we possibly have time to find the job, get the degree, launch the product, write the book, paint the picture or compose the song? Those are things you do after you’ve found your purpose! I should know! I’ve engaged in my fair share of circle jerking purpose searching.

“So how do you find your purpose? people ask.

I’ve discovered that it doesn’t have to be rocket surgery.

What excites you? What lights you up? What quickens your heart? What draws you like a moth to a flame? Where do you lose yourself in time? What have you always wanted to do? What brings you joy? What would you do, even if you weren’t getting paid to do it?

Sometimes we think that “doing” our purpose has to be hard; or that working at our purpose will require toil and sacrifice. But just the opposite is true.

Ask yourself instead: what makes you happy, what’s fun? In fact, ask yourself what would be too much fun to do? That likely will point you in the right direction of your purpose.

But, ultimately, remember this. We really don’t have the time to search for yetis or lost cities. The clock is running. And every second counts.

Just get busy. Purpose has a way of finding you.

Purpose is about discovering what has been within you all along.

It’s about loving deeply and serving freely; it’s about sharing the gifts that only you can share with the world.

Likely, your purpose is close at hand; right here; right now; right where you are. Doing the work you are doing in this very moment.

Don’t miss it.

Worry Worry Everywhere

by Walt | Jul 25, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.

— Michel de Montaigne

I come from a long line of worriers.

My grandfather was a worrier. He would wring his hands for days before he’d travel about what the weather might be on the day he was set to start out. And when he’d arrive, he would become obsessed about what the weather might be for his return.

My father was a worrier. He worried about the weather too. And the stock market and his business and his health and his children and their children and whether he should retire or not retire and what may or may not happen in the next hour or on the next day or the next week or the next year. And did I mention that he worried about the weather?

I’m a worrier too. And I can be even more resourceful than my father.

“Worry saps energy, warps thinking and kills ambition,” said Dale Carnege in his classic How To Stop Worrying and Start Living.

Worry is a waste.

Worry is the bastard child of Fear.

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear resides deep in the ancient part of our brain, the amygdala. It served us once. When we hunted on the plains and needed to avoid the predators: the mastodons and the woolly mammoths.

But as I drove to the coffee shop this morning, I noticed a curious thing: the landscape appeared devoid of wild beasts.

Today, fear is the predator.

Fear limits. Fear paralyzes. Fear diminishes. Fear robs you of opportunity.

With fear, you fail to live life fully.

There’s a really good book on fear: Feel The Fear …And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Jeffers says, “We can’t escape fear. We can only transform it into a companion that accompanies us on all of our exciting adventures; it is not an anchor holding us transfixed in one spot.”

But how do you transform it? By holding it and moving through it. By feeling it – deeply – and doing what makes you afraid – anyway.

It sounds overly simplistic. But it really is supported by the “evidence.”

Mark Twain said, “I’ve seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.”

Jeffers says: “It is reported that more than 90% of what we worry about never happens. That means our negative worries have less than a 10% chance of being correct. If this is so, isn’t being positive more realistic than being negative? Think about your own life. I’ll wager that most of what you worry about never happens. So are you being realistic when you worry all the time? No!”

Fear never goes away. As long as you grow, fear goes with you. Those of you who journey out on the edge recognize fear as a pretty steady companion. But the paradox is, that in moving through your fear, you do grow.

And here was the big revelation for me: everyone is afraid. You’re not alone. No matter how successful someone is, no matter how confident someone appears, fear looms in the dark recesses, in the unknown, the untried, the unexplored.

Whenever you risk – whether in business, in relationship, or at play – you invite fear.

But as Jeffers says, “Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.” If we don’t confront our fear – and move through it – we stay stuck. And fear full.

“Courage,” Mark Twain said, “is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.” He also said, “Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

Ultimately, the conquest of fear is about trust: trust in yourself. “All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way,” says Jeffers.

Trust. Trust that you can handle it.

Whatever comes your way. You can handle it.

(I wonder what tomorrow’s weather will bring?)

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Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Is time passing way too quickly? Are you ready to create that exciting next chapter? Let’s connect. Email me: walt@summit-succcess.com

And stop by for a visit at: https://summit-success.com/

Worthless Success

by Walt | Jul 18, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

So why do you want success? Why do you want to achieve your goals? What’s in it for you?

For many, success is about working hard so that you can get expensive toys… but then there’s really no time to enjoy the toys… because you need to work hard to get the expensive toys.

This is a sad reflection of our weary, hollow culture. Success measured by how busy you are… how many hours you work… how hard you labor… how few days off you take… how little time you spend in joy…

Success measured by the number of victims we leave on the battlefield of achievement, as collateral damage; by the sacrifices we make of our very selves.

Is this really what success is all about?

Arianna Huffington of the Huffington Post, says that “Success as we’ve defined it is no longer sustainable. It’s not sustainable for human beings; it’s not sustainable for the planet.”

Success is not just money and power, Huffington suggests. There is, she says, a ‘third metric,’ of success; one comprised of “well-being, wisdom, wonder and giving back.”

One that honors spaciousness, mindfulness, reflection, relationship, and joy.

If we “succeed” at the expense of our families, our friends, our emotional health, our physical health, our spiritual health, and our environment, what have we succeeded at?

Success, at its core, is the highest and best expression of ourselves in the world. It is reflected in the way in which we share our unique gifts; the lives we touch, the hearts we heal, the impact we make, and the legacy we leave behind.

It is living fully and loving deeply. With purpose and passion. It is measured not by what we hold back, not by what we accumulate, but by what we give.

It is showing up every day with a servant’s heart. Playing full out. Holding nothing back. Leaving it all on the field.

It is about reveling in the joy of Creation and an abundant Universe.

Success by any other definition is just not worth it.

The Day The Music Stopped

by Walt | Jul 11, 2024 | Success | 1 Comment

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Steve Jobs

I remember the day as if it was yesterday.

A Saturday morning in early October.

7:00am.

Clear and cool.

Through my hermetically sealed windows on the 18th floor, I could see the sun glistening on the Connecticut River.

The leaves of a glorious New England autumn on full display.

All of the glitz and glitter from graduating from law school, taking the bar exam, and starting out at a prestigious Big Firm had faded away.

The succession of 70 hour weeks and mandatory Saturdays had begun to wear me down.

I looked across my mahogany desk piled high with files to the credenza with my time sheets on which I marked the value of my existence in six minute increments.

I thought about the long day ahead.

I thought about the harvest festival fair that I’d miss with my kids.

This beautiful fall day that I’d spend working on a brief that would suck my soul.

And I asked out loud (to no one because no one was listening): Is this the way it will be for the next thirty or forty years?

Indeed, it was 25 years before I freed myself from what one therapist called “the golden handcuffs.”

Yes, I made a lot of money.

I got the corner office.

I got the nice car, and the sprawling house in the suburbs, and the big boat.

Yes, I’d become a “success.”

But I wasn’t happy.

Truth be told: It wasn’t easy to escape.

In fact, it was pretty scary.

But now, I wake up every single day, excited and on fire about the work I get to do.

I don’t have many regrets. But I do regret not having the courage to pivot sooner.

Because life is short. And joy is your birthright.

If your heart is telling you that it’s time for a new chapter, listen.

The Big Problem With Freedom

by Walt | Jul 4, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

You’re likely a fan of freedom.

I am.

In fact, it’s one of my highest values.

Freedom to come and go; freedom to adventure and travel; freedom to work when and where and if we want.

Freedom to choose.

It’s damn good stuff.

But there’s a catch.

“Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being,” Eleanor Roosevelt once said. “With freedom comes responsibility.”

When you’re free, you’re responsible for a lot, like:

your health and wellness;
the care of your loved ones;
your surroundings;
those in need; and
this little blue dot that floats in space that is our only home.

You’re responsible, too, for freedom itself. Because this freedom you enjoy has come at a huge cost, measured in blood.

It is precious and fragile.

One of the things I so loved in law school was the freedom to explore ideas; the invitation to question; the opportunity to debate, and disagree.

Our arguments could be vociferous and long, because seeking for truth and finding common ground can be a messy business.

(But pizza and beer usually followed because we knew that our ground could be common only if we honored our shared humanity.)

It continues to be our shared responsibility to seek this common ground, to protect this gift that is our freedom.

Tirelessly and ardently. With civility and care.

“For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry their own weight, this is a frightening prospect,” Roosevelt said.

But you want what I want what we all want which is freedom.

President Ronald Reagan, in his Farewell Address to the Nation, shared his vision of our nation as “the shining city upon a hill.”

“[I]n my mind it is a tall, proud city built on rocks stronger than oceans, windswept, God-blessed, and teeming with people of all kinds living in harmony and peace; a city with free ports that hummed with commerce and creativity. And if there had to be city walls, the walls had doors and the doors were open to anyone with the will and the heart to get here.”

“All great change begins at the dinner table,” Reagan said. “So, tomorrow night in the kitchen I hope the talking begins.”

It’s been two hundred forty-eight years since we declared our freedom.

The work continues.

Let freedom ring.