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When You Are Lost

by Walt | Aug 17, 2023 | Success | 1 Comment

I was lost. Hopelessly lost.

“In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood with no clear way out.” So begins Dante’s Divine Comedy.

That was me.

It wasn’t comedy.

I was bored; restless, unhappy.

Yearning for something more, different, exciting.

I was searching for meaning, purpose; something.

And it seemed ridiculous to me. Because by all outward appearances, I had it all. The beautiful house, the nice cars, a big boat, a fancy office, a prestigious career.

There was so much to be grateful for. And, yet, there I was: a miserable fuck.

My marriage failed. (Or I failed my marriage. Inartfully, unlovingly.)

I’d burned the metaphorical house down.

I became a caricature of myself; a hapless single dad, raising three young boys; a listless lawyer trying to manage a firm.

Trying to keep my shit together.

But truth be told: it was just a shit show.

Barely able to crawl out of bed; barely able to keep my head above water most days.

I couldn’t see the way.

But there was a way.

And I’m here to tell you that there is a way for you.

Not an easy way. (Nothing worthwhile is easy.)

But a way that leads to joy and peace.

Here’s the bad news: When you’re lost in the woods, you need to stop. (And hug a tree as we tell our kids.) You simply can’t run headlong into the maelstrom. You’ll break too many things. Yourself and others.

Your need to get quiet and still. You need to surround yourself with good friends and wise guides.

You cannot do this yourself.

You need to feel the feels. The sadness. The remorse. The fear. The trembling.

You need to let the tears come.

And then you must get out of that brilliant mind of yours.

Connect with the ground. The Ground of Being.

Drop into your heart space.

Feel your heart.

Listen to that beautiful heart of yours. Because your heart knows the way.

It always knows the way.

From that place – only from that place – will the darkness shift.

Dawn will come.

Through the dark wood, you will begin to see the path.

To your new life that is already waiting.

Peace to you.

Add Water At Your Peril

by Walt | Aug 10, 2023 | Success | 0 Comments

Winemakers in Châteauneuf-du-Pape must adhere to strict guidelines if they wish to present their wines to the marketplace as wines from the Châteauneuf-du-Pape region . One curious rule is that, except in extraordinary circumstances (and then only with special dispensation), winemakers may not ever water their vines.

The land in the region of Châteauneuf-du-Pape is rocky, dry and laden with clay.

And so we inquired of the master sommelier in one of the vineyards we visited, “Why wouldn’t you water the vines?”

“Because,” he explained, “Without artificial irrigation, the roots of the vines must grow deep; and the vines become resilient and strong. If we were to water the vines, the roots would stay near the surface and the vines would be much more likely to fail.”

When you are compelled to grow your roots deep, you become resilient and strong.

That, of course, is the challenge of our lives.

To grow deep roots, to become resilient, requires discomfort.

We hate discomfort.

We want easy.

The magic, the majesty, the joy, the deep satisfaction is most usually found just beyond that place of comfort: one more rep with the weights, one more minute with the plank, pushing out one more mile on the run; holding the question just a little longer; staying with the ambiguity, in the uncertainty; digging just a bit deeper with the research; lingering just a bit longer with the words on the page.

Leaning into the discomfort; and not fleeing from it.

We’ve learned this lesson ourselves over and over again in the high mountains of the world when long after the packs have become way too heavy to bear, we break through the clouds to share what few will ever see; and on ultra-distance races, when long after our bodies have told us we were done, just a few more miles brought us to the finish line.

We’ve learn this lesson ourselves over and over again in our business when we’ve stayed in the insoluble problem long after the confusion and despair have set in to discover a way through that yields extraordinary results.

We’ve learned hard lessons in our parenting too. Who doesn’t want to make the lives of their children easier? Who wants them to suffer; to experience discomfort? Yet all too often when we’ve stepped in to “rescue” a child, to smooth their road, to solve their problem, we’ve seen (in the rear view mirror with regret) the lost opportunity to grow their roots deeper.

Of course, we’ve fled discomfort too. Too many times to count if truth be told. Retreating when the wind has blown too hard; and the feet have become way too sore. Abandoning a project because it has required that we become beginners again; and it all just seemed way too complicated.

And always with the fleeing comes regret. Regret for what might have been. If only we had leaned into the discomfort. Leaned in just a little bit longer.

“Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better,” Jim Rohn once said.

“With discipline comes freedom,” Ann says.

Deep roots make strong vines. And create extraordinary lives.

Perhaps a little drought is good.

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I promise that if you work with me as a coach, I will make your life uncomfortable. When you’re ready, email me: walt@summit-success.com

Catching Dreams

by Walt | Aug 3, 2023 | Success | 2 Comments

And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.

— Joel 2:28

Dreamer.

The word has a bad rep. It connotes laziness. Distraction. Fuzziness. Idealism.

To dream suggests that you’re not fully present, that you’re somehow disconnected from reality.

“Get real,” we tell dreamers.

And some dreams can be pretty damn weird.

But many are visions, hopes, and aspirations that reside in the recesses of your mind. They may represent things you want to do, achieve, have, be. They can form a mosaic of your life made whole.

Your dreams are your own silent visitors from an unconscious world that inspire you to create; that urge you up in the morning; that drive you forward. They are the engines of your heart.

Climbing Denali was a dream for me. Ever since I was a boy, I wanted to climb The High One: the one that rose up out of the plains with the highest uplift in the world, the one with the coldest temperatures and the the most ferocious winds; the epic storied one that has always challenged mountaineers from around the globe. Inspired by a book my father gave me, I dreamed of being an explorer; of walking on Denali’s glaciers, climbing through Denali Pass, traversing beneath the Archdeacon’s Tower, and standing on its summit.

And I did.

It was a somewhat curious dream. Not terribly practical. Or “useful.” Some would say downright inconvenient (Ann), especially as I contemplated the third attempt in eighteen years.

But dreams aren’t always logical. Many don’t make sense to other people.

But they don’t have to. Our dreams belong to us.

Dreams are sometimes vivid, sometimes not, sometimes odd, always elusive.

But many whisper to you. Of joy, of hope, of possibility. Of life fulfilled.

I love the symbol of the dreamcatcher. Woven in webs with sinew, The Chippewas believed that by sleeping beneath these hoops, they could sift out the “bad” dreams and capture the good.

Too few of us capture and pursue their dreams. And time is not your friend. “Nobody grasped you by the shoulder while there was still time, ” wrote Antoine de Saint-Exupery. “Now the clay of which you were shaped has dried and hardened, and naught in you will ever awaken the sleeping musician, the poet, the astronomer that possibly inhabited you in the beginning.”

Time will rob you if we let it. The clock will run out.

Tony Robbins says: “We’re so caught up in all we have to do – be sure to take the time to stop, be silent. Listen to the whispers of Destiny… guidance is waiting.”

The Carmelite mystic William McNamara admonishes: take long, loving leisurely looks at the real.

You must take the time to touch your dreams, to cradle them, to nurture them, to bring them to life. (No one else will.)

I hear so many of my contemporaries talk of being “too busy,” “too out of shape,” “too old” to do what they otherwise might do. That the time for fulfilling the dreams they once had has passed.

That’s bullshit.

“The best is yet to come,” Sinatra crooned.

“Your car goes where your eye goes,” writes Garth Stein in his beautifully crafted bestseller The Art of Racing in the Rain.

Your heart goes if you will but follow.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined,” wrote Thoreau.

Denali was my dream. (There are many more, of course!)

What are yours?

You Could Be An owl

by Walt | Jul 27, 2023 | Success | 0 Comments

He’s captured their hearts; grabbed their attentions; and piqued their imaginations.

Millions followed him.

Why?

Because Flaco broke free.

Flaco. The Owl. Who lived in the Central Park Zoo.

Until, a vandal cut a hole in the wire mesh of his enclosure.

And out Flaco flew.

There was a great outpour of consternation at first.

Flaco looked pretty scared and tentative.

He had a hard time with the whole flying thing.

Because after all, he’d lived in a tiny cage nearly all of his life.

He was fat, and out of shape.

And didn’t have any clue how to find food.

People worried that New York wouldn’t be kind to this wayward bird; that Flaco would get lost or hurt or die of starvation.

But within two weeks, Flaco got strong.

He flies quite well now; like an owl!

And appears quite confident; indeed, dare I say, happy.

Because Flaco in free.

And isn’t that what you want?

To break free of the drudgery, the grind, the mundane, the run-of-the-mill.

To get out from underneath the constant hustle, the debt, the hermetically sealed office, the deluge of social media, the non-stop onslaught of text messages, notifications and alerts.

To become unencumbered of responsibilities; unfettered of the expectations of others.

Unchained.

Uncaged.

Free.

Finally free.

Is that a pipe dream?

A thing that only owls get to do?

I say not!

Oh sure, you’ve got responsibilities.

A job. A family. Groceries. A house or apartment. Bills to pay.

I get it.

I was a single dad who raised three boys on his own, for a dozen years, while managing a law firm and endeavoring to keep my shit together.

But you can take small steps toward freedom;

Carving out oases of time for yourself;
Keeping yourself healthy and well;
Avoiding the siren call of more stuff;
Eschewing credit card debt;
Taking long weekends; and mini-vacations.

And, the most important of all: create work that gives you a great life.

Way too often, I see people try to cram life into the cracks and crevices of 60 hour work weeks. Which is to say, too many people live just to work. I say, build the work – craft it mindfully and intentionally – so that it is the vehicle for your amazing life.

I say: Be Flaco.

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Being Flaco can be tough. Often it necessitates someone who can help you cut that wire mesh that holds you captive. I’ve got some great shears. Let’s talk. Email me: walt@summit-success.com

And stop by for a visit at: https://summit-success.com/