Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

No No No

by Walt | Sep 12, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

What is essential is invisible to the eye.

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

I have a confession to make: I’m a huge James Bond fan. I have loved them all in all of their incarnations and inanity, from Connery to Craig.

Dr. No was the first Bond movie, dating all the way back to 1962. Bond was played by the inimitable Sean Connery. Julius No was the villain.

But these days, I tend to think of anyone with doctoral-level skills in “No” as a hero.

I gave a workshop recently on mindfulness and work-life balance. As I was getting ready for the workshop, I had a convo with a colleague of mine, Sandy.

Sandy, a lawyer, said, “Walt, I hear you’re giving a seminar on life balance.”

“Yes,” I said. “Are you coming?”

Breathlessly, because Sandy is usually breathless and in a hurry, she replied, “No, can’t, have no time.”

We both chuckled about how ridiculous that sounded. But however ridiculous it may have been, it is, for most, not only irony but truth.

We have no time to get balanced because we’re so out of balance. And breathless.

Saying “no” might help.

If you’re reading this, you are, most likely a person of service. You tend to want to please others and be seen as affable. If you get asked to contribute in some way to a church or school or community event, most often your knee-jerk reaction is to say yes. And if you dare say no, it’s not without some chagrin and guilt.

Parents are particularly prone to “yes.” As parents, we’re hard-wired to want the best for our kids. We’re hard-wired to want to see them happy. Most of the time, in our minds, the “best,” or what we think will make them “happy,” is to say “yes” to whatever the request is. Even when saying “no” may be the “right” response.

Helping professionals are especially at risk. They get paid to come to the rescue. And coming to the rescue feeds their sense of self-worth. The more they say yes, the more meaning and significance they feel. Even when saying “yes” places them at risk for divorce, depression, and burn-out. (Not that I know much about this personally!)

Not only that, saying yes, being busy, is “in.”

How often during the course of the day does this occur? “How are you?” you ask someone. “Busy,” they reply.”

Busy is a badge of honor. Busy is good. If you’re not busy, something’s wrong!

How would it be if someone were to ask you how you were and you were to respond, “Languid.” “Bored!” “Been laying about.” “Haven’t had a thing to do in weeks!” You’d get a look that might suggest that they thought you were on crack.

You gotta be busy. Because to be busy is to be important. To be busy is to have worth.

The problem, of course, is that by continually saying yes, you become stretched too thin, over-extended. Depleted. Worth-less.

I really like the Pareto Principle. It’s also called the 80/20 rule.

Tim Ferriss in his provocative book The 4-Hour Work Week, says, “When I came across Pareto’s work one late evening, I had been slaving away with 15-hour days seven days per week, feeling completely overwhelmed and generally helpless.”

Overwhelmed and helpless ring any bells? I know that I am susceptible to this!

“Faced with certain burnout or giving Pareto’s ideas a trial run, I opted for the latter,” Ferriss says. “The next morning, I began a dissection of my business and personal life through the lenses of two questions:

1. Which 20% of sources are causing 80% of my problems and unhappiness?

2. Which 20% of sources are resulting in 80% of my desired outcomes and happiness?”

What are the 20% of the customers or clients that give you 80% of the headaches? Get rid of them. What is the 20% of your work that gives you 80% of your joy? Focus on it.

Who are the 20% of people who produce 80% of your happiness, who support and encourage you? Who are the 20% who cause the 80% of your angst?

You get the idea. We all take on too much. And much of what we take on is at the margins. Get rid of what’s not working. Do only what is.

Say no more often. No is a complete sentence.

Say yes only to what is essential. Say yes to what brings joy.

Robert Frost wrote, “Good fences make good neighbors.” Your boundaries matter. They protect you and make you whole.

By eliminating whole bushels of stuff from your life, you open expanses of time that will allow you to rest and renew. To reclaim your sense of purpose. Your sense of wonder. Your creativity. Your very self.

By saying no to what’s not working, you dissipate busyness, you open yourself to the richness and fullness of life.

By saying no, you say yes.

Avoiding Whack A Mole

by Walt | Sep 5, 2024 | Success | 2 Comments

Ok people, it’s done.

Summer’s over. Labor Day is so last weekend.

The vacation’s behind you. No more lazy lunches. No more casual Fridays.

It’s time to put away the Dockers… and the swimmies. It’s time to get back to it.

Fall is here. Time to get busy; time to get serious.

No more leisure, no more playtime.

It’s time for work.

Uhhh, wait a minute: I object. I don’t want to give up playtime!

It is a busy time of year. But perhaps we can take some of summer with us?

In summer, it seems, time is more expansive; the rules more flexible; the boundaries softer.

And then September comes and – maybe it’s a holdover from going back to school – it seems like the time for fun is over.

We move back into our busy lives, our schedules chock full, shuttling around the kids, out to soccer games and swim practices, with evening meetings, volunteer activities and board commitments.

Many of my coaching clients feel like they’re moving back into the forest fire armed only with their squirt guns; their lives turned into an out-of-control carnival game of whack-a-mole. Reacting endlessly, and breathlessly, to the urgent.

Never really getting to what is really, truly the important in their lives.

And summer slips silently into the rearview mirror with perhaps some vague hope for respite and reprieve on some distant unencumbered weekend… or maybe in February on that “vacation.”

There is a different way.

But it requires that you become a control freak.

That’s right, a control freak: someone who takes control of their lives!

No one else is gonna do it for you. You’ve gotta do it for yourself.

And this means that you need a bit of courage and audacity.

I know. I live it too. Bombarded by unceasing demands and expectations in every area of our lives. Inundated by inputs. Juggling multiple modalities of communication. Over committed and suffused with the anxiety of dropping the ball.

But here’s the truth: the in-box will always be full. None of us will ever get it all done. If you died tomorrow, you’d be replaced.

So why not pay attention to what truly matters?

So here are some practices to consider before September gets too crazy:

Decide what really, really matters to you. Spend time on that. Get rid of the rest.
Get really good at saying no; if you find yourself saying you “should” do something, you probably shouldn’t.
Carve out time for yourself – every single day. No one else is going to do it for you.
Get up an hour early and enjoy the quiet. Use it to read and write and meditate and create.
Plan your weeks; and plan each day; actually schedule in the time for the things that matter most to you.
Turn off the TV at night and focus on the life you really want.

Here’s the scoop: at the end of our lives, no one is going to wish they spent more time in the office, billed more hours, sold more product, sat on more boards, went to more PTO meetings, or volunteered for more committees. It won’t matter whether you went to one more network group, whether your Facebook status was up to date, or whether you were well LinkedIn. What will matter will be the experiences you have had, the love you have shared, the lives you have touched.

What will matter will be whether you showed up in each and every moment to know the fullness and the joy of your life.

What will matter is whether you have lived without regret.

For that to happen, you’ll need to become a control freak.

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Ready for work that sets you free? Let’s talk! Email me: [email protected]

And stop by for a visit at: https://summit-success.com/

Not Enough Time

by Walt | Aug 29, 2024 | Success | 2 Comments

Time seems to be a problem.

“I didn’t have time.”

“There’s not enough time.”

“I won’t have time.”

The refrains I hear again and again from entrepreneurs and business professionals.

But here’s the truth: You have the time.

In fact, you have all of the time there is.

You have all of the time that’s been promised to presidents, prime ministers, and kings.

No one has any more of it.

The heart of the problem isn’t a lack of time.

It’s how you end up using your time.

There’s an interesting exercise we do in our time management workshops. It goes like this:

Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. On the left had side, write down the top 5 things your value most. On the right hand side, write down the 5 activities on which you spend the most time.

Look at your lists.

If you’re like most folks, the left hand list has things like family, spouse, partner, children, grandchildren, health, wellness, adventure, travel.

The right hand list has things like work, office, commuting, board meetings. Oh, and more work.

There’s nothing wrong with either list. Both are fine.

The problem is in the incongruity between the lists.

Anxiety, stress, overwhelm, sadness, depression, the sense that there isn’t enough time. These feeling arise as a result of not spending your time on what you say you value most.

Your mission should you choose to accept it: work on matching up your lists.

Because, the sands of time will run out.

Staying Curious

by Walt | Aug 22, 2024 | Success | 0 Comments

It’s really easy to get stuck in your own way of seeing the world.

We tend to surround ourselves with like-minded people, consume media that reinforces our beliefs, and avoid engaging with those who think differently. This feels familiar and safe. But it ultimately leads to more separation, isolation, and even loneliness. It also contributes to the increasing polarization we see around us, making it harder to connect with others and learn from their experiences.

But what if you approached the world with curiosity instead of judgment? Staying curious invites you to ask questions, to explore, and to see things from new angles. Curiosity will help you to understand why someone might think or feel differently, opening the door to more meaningful connections. Curiosity allows you to listen more deeply, without the need to immediately agree or disagree.

When you remain curious, you’re less likely to fall into the trap of defensiveness or to shut down conversations before they’ve even begun. Instead of adding fuel to the fire of hatred or division, you create opportunities for dialogue, for learning, and for growth. You become more resourceful in how you interact with others, finding common ground where you might not have seen it before.

Curiosity is not about being naive or ignoring your own values. It’s about being open to the idea that others might have something valuable to offer, even if their perspective is different from yours. It’s about recognizing that your own understanding is always evolving, and that you can learn from every interaction if you’re willing to stay open.

In a time when it’s easier than ever to retreat into our own bubbles, staying curious is a powerful tool for bridging the gaps that divide us. It’s a way to resist the pull of polarization and instead move toward a more connected, compassionate, and inclusive world.

Will you give curiosity a go?

Paying Through Your Nose

by Walt | Aug 15, 2024 | Success | 2 Comments

In today’s world, there’s a constant demand for your attention. Notifications, emails, social media, and a never-ending stream of news updates all compete for your focus. It’s no wonder that you often feel scattered, distracted, and overwhelmed. This unrelenting pull on your attention leaves you fatigued and stressed, and it ultimately takes a toll on your well-being.

Simone Weil once said, “Your attention is your fate.” This simple yet profound statement reminds you that the way you direct your attention shapes your life. Every moment, you are making choices about where you focus your mental energy. But are you aware of what you’re investing in? Are you consciously choosing to pay attention to what truly matters, or are you allowing distractions to dictate your focus?

Imagine your attention as a form of currency. Just as you’re careful with how you spend your money, you should be equally mindful of how you “spend” your attention. Each time you give your attention to something, you are making a payment. The critical question is: What are you buying with it? Are you investing in activities and relationships that nourish your soul and bring you joy? Or are you spending your attention on things that drain your energy and leave you feeling empty?

The problem with the current attention economy is that it weakens your ability to focus. Like a muscle that isn’t exercised properly, your attention span atrophies when constantly fragmented. This erosion of focus makes it difficult to engage deeply with anything, leading to a superficial experience of life. The more scattered your attention, the less you are able to connect with what truly matters.

One way to regain control over your attention is to build intentional pauses into your day. These pauses can be simple moments of mindfulness—a few deep breaths, a brief walk, or a quiet moment of reflection. During these times, ask yourself: Where has my attention been? Is it where I want it to be? These check-ins help you become more conscious of how you are spending your mental currency and allow you to redirect your focus toward what truly enriches your life.

Setting boundaries for your attention is another important practice. Just as you wouldn’t spend money recklessly, you shouldn’t give your attention away without careful consideration. This might mean setting limits on screen time, turning off notifications, or carving out specific times for meaningful activities like reading, engaging with loved ones, or simply being present in the moment. By protecting your attention, you create space for deeper connections and more fulfilling experiences.

Ultimately, where you place your attention reflects your values. If you say that certain aspects of life are important to you—whether it’s relationships, personal growth, or creativity—then you need to ensure your attention aligns with those values. This alignment brings more integrity and purpose to your daily life.

In a world filled with distractions, reclaiming your attention is a radical act of self-care and empowerment. By choosing to focus on what truly matters, you can live a more intentional, meaningful life. So commit to being more mindful of how you spend your attention, investing it in ways that bring you closer to your true self and to the people and activities that enrich your life.