Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

Your Halloween Costume

Your Halloween Costume

What are you gonna be for Halloween? Who are you going to dress up as?

halloween

Masks and costumes. Parties and planning. Fervor, festivities, and fever pitch.

Bigger than Christmas it seems.

What is it about Halloween that so excites, that so sparks the imagination?

Yes, fun for sure. The chance to let loose, hideout, switch it up. The possibility of being someone new, something new, someone different from who you are in the hum-drum of each day.

And the truth is that a lot of folks are worn down by the hum-drum of each. They want new, better, different. Just not the same. For god’s sake, not the same.

So, who do you want to be?

More important: Who are you already… really?

Are you your job? Your role in a relationship? Your hobby, pursuit, passion?

I am an executive coach, high-altitude mountaineer, blue-water sailor, adventure photographer, husband, father, business owner….

But is that who I am… really?

  • If you have a job and lose that job… who are you?
  • If you have a marriage and the marriage unravels, who are you?
  • If you have kids and they grow up and move away, who are you?
  • If you’re an athlete and you’re injured, who are you?
  • Who are you when your friend betrays you? When your parent dies? When your business fails?
  • Who are you in the face of success, failure, and change?

Who are you… really?

Your identity. The very core of who you are. What a struggle that can be. Especially for success and achievement junkies… I know a few… They’re the folks who come to coaching… (As for myself, on the advice of counsel, I can neither admit nor deny any of the heretofore!)

When you’re not doing, achieving, accomplishing… who are you?

(Yeah, I hate that question.)

Ann and I traveled to Nepal last year… a completely different culture… a completely different pace… If stress and adrenaline are your fuel, you won’t find much there. And without that fuel, we ask, … who are we?

The Buddhists teach: Nothing to do, nothing to be, nothing to have.

Really. WTF? What then?

One of my very favorite stories from the Torah is when Moses comes upon the burning bush. God speaks to Moses from the bush, telling Moses what he needs to be about. Moses, looking for a bit of borrowed cred, asks God for God’s name. God says, “I am who I am.” Tell those Israelites that “I am” sent you.

Maybe there’s a clue here. Maybe when you define yourself with a title, give yourself a label, or tie an object to who you think you are, you make yourself small, and limit your (divine) potential.

Maybe, at the end of it all, one more billable hour booked, one more product sold, one more article published, one more email sent, one more race run, one more mountain climbed, won’t really matter.

Maybe it’s ok just to be.

And damn, what an interesting (and unusual) costume that might be!

Happy Halloween.

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When you’re ready to reclaim the you that’s really you, let’s talk. Email me: walt@walthampton.com

And stop by for a visit: https://summit-success.com/

You Want This Superpower

You Want This Superpower

In a world saturated with noise, distractions, and the constant pull of technology, the act of genuinely listening has become a rare art. Mark Nepo, in his insightful book 7,000 Ways to Listen, offers a profound perspective on the essence of listening. He states, “To listen is to continually give up all expectation and to give our attention, completely and freshly, to what is before us, not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean. In the practice of our days, to listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.”

These words aren’t merely about the auditory act of listening; they delve into the depth of human connection and the transformative power that arises when we truly tune into another person’s world.

Giving Up Expectation

To start, let’s unpack the idea of “giving up all expectations.” In many of our interactions, we come with a preconceived notion, a set idea, or an agenda. We listen, waiting for a pause to interject our thoughts, or perhaps, searching for points that validate our existing beliefs. True listening, however, requires an open slate. It demands that we set aside our biases and genuinely absorb what the other person is conveying.

Full Attention to the Present

When Nepo mentions giving our “attention, completely and freshly,” he emphasizes the importance of being present. In the age of multitasking, it’s common to split our attention. You might be having a conversation while checking your phone or thinking about the next item on your to-do list. Authentic listening is about being fully there, immersed in the moment, and allowing the words to resonate with every fiber of your being.

Embracing Vulnerability

The aspect of “not really knowing what we will hear or what that will mean” touches on vulnerability. It’s about stepping into a conversation with an open heart, ready to be surprised, moved, or even challenged by what you might discover. It’s about embracing the unknown and trusting the journey of connection.

Willingness to Change

Lastly, the most potent part of Nepo’s quote lies in the idea of being willing “to be changed by what we hear.” It’s a courageous act to allow another’s words to have such power. It means acknowledging that every interaction has the potential to teach us something, shift our perspective, or enrich our understanding. To truly listen is to recognize the growth that comes from these shared moments of connection.

Conclusion

In our roles as leaders, colleagues, friends, and family, it’s essential to reflect on how we listen. Are we merely hearing words, or are we diving deep, allowing these conversations to shape and mold us?

Every interaction offers an opportunity to connect, learn, and evolve. As we navigate our professional and personal worlds, let’s take a cue from Nepo’s wisdom and strive to listen—not just with our ears but with our hearts and minds, ready to be transformed by the symphony of human experiences around us.

Real listening is a superpower. You want it.

Ya Gotta Love It

Ya Gotta Love It

You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out. –Steve Jobs

I have a client – articulate, driven, highly educated and talented – whose business is failing.

Because she doesn’t love it.

I have a friend who is having a devil of a time landing a job in a field in which he has worked for years – and excelled.

Because he doesn’t love it.

Love for what you do is the only thing that sets you apart.

Love for what you do is the only thing that will sustain you.

Benjamin Bloom (of Head Start fame), while he was a professor at the University of Chicago, did a study of 120 outstanding scholars, artists, and athletes. He was trying to figure out what made them tick; and even more important, what common factors contributed to their greatness.

He controlled for intelligence; he controlled for family background. He discovered that geography didn’t matter; that race didn’t matter; that socio-economic advantage didn’t matter; and that it didn’t matter whether these folks were ‘naturally smart.’ The only thing – the one common denominator – that distinguished these folks was extraordinary drive.

And the only thing that fuels extraordinary drive… is passion.

A love for the ‘game.’

A love so keen that it propels you out of bed in the morning and sets the day on fire.

A love so strong that you can take the heat, endure the pain, keep the faith, go the distance.

There are lots and lots of sales people, countless Internet marketers, a bazillion coaches, more lawyers than real people, doctors out the ying yang. A nearly inexhaustible selection of authors and artists and plumbers and HR managers and executives and electricians.

Your ‘job,’ your position, is not unique.

But you are.

Over the long haul, you can never compete on price, credentials, ‘novelty,’ flashy ads or noise.

Because at that level, everyone looks the same. Your voice disappears in the landscape.

All noise; and no signal.

But when you’re on fire, you stand out.

When you’re filled with passion, there is no one else who looks like you. No one else who can possibly compete.

When you claim your own authentic voice, there is no competition.

None at all. Your success is guaranteed.

Your energy signature is yours alone. It carries the day.

Here’s the truth: Just because you’re good at something, or have done something for a long time, doesn’t mean you should keep on doing it.

Ya Gotta Love It

Dale Carnegie once said, “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

And you can’t possibly have fun unless you’re really feelin’ the love.

Steve Jobs said, “[T]he only way to do great work is to love what you do…. Don’t settle”

You are called to do great work.

Find that love.

Don’t ever settle.

Start and See What Happens

Start and See What Happens

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

— Goethe

It didn’t matter that I had sealed the seams.  Or that we had a tub floor.  Or that I had put a tarp over the site.  Water was everywhere.

The torrential rains had come just after midnight.  The sound on the tent wall was deafening.  And depressing.

I could only coax a few of the group to start out into that dank October dawn.  A summit looked improbable.

The rain poured unrelentingly.  The trail ran like a river.  Within minutes, I was soaked. And miserable.

Up the slick talus we struggled. The temperature near freezing. The visibility a few hundred feet at best.

And suddenly, the three of us broke through the mist, into a crystal clear windless sky. The sun warmed us and dried us.  Snow flakes shot upward from the cloud deck below like crystal fireworks. Everywhere we looked, rainbows shimmered and danced.

It was as if we had been transported across time to a parallel universe.  Nothing was as it had been. And it was like nothing we had ever seen.

We reveled in our good fortune and marveled in our own private paradise.

Hours later, standing once again in the rain outside our soggy tents, words failed us as we tried to share with our friends who had stayed behind the wonders that we had seen.

Those who didn’t start out could never know.

I learn this lesson time and time again.  From getting out the door for the morning run, to the looming research project, to the unpleasant conversation that needs to happen, to the weights at the gym and the blog that wants to be written.

You gotta at least start.

Julia Cameron in her wonderful timeless book The Artist’s Way says that our job is to show up on the page.

Whether we want to or not, we show up and start out.

It’s what makes a “pro” says Steven Pressfield in the War of Art. An amateur capitulates to resistance; an amateur is always willing to negotiate the project away.

Whether you’re tired or not, whether it’s raining or not, whether you’re fearful or not, whether you’re feeling fat or not, whether you’re racked with doubt or not, whether you hate your job or not, whether you’re motivated or not, whether you’re in shape or not, whether it’s too early or too late, or not, whether you’re inspired or not; it is irrelevant. If you’re a pro, you make up your mind and you do it. You just do it.

Cameron says, “Leap and the net will appear.”  There is a magic in the starting out.  The way unfolds in a manner that can never be imagined locked in inertia.

Goethe writes, “The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves as well. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise occur. A stream of events issues from that decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen accidents, meetings and material assistance that no one could of dreamed would come their way.”

“What I have learned from this simple philosophy is this,” writes Mel Robbins in this month’s Success magazine. “When it comes to being master of your life, you are never going to feel like doing what you need to do.  It will feel wrong to ask for help.  It will make you afraid to present your business plan.  You won’t want to run when it’s raining outside.  Getting out of bed can feel downright radical simply because you don’t want to. But you have to.”  When the alarm rings, stand up, she says.

I have hit the snooze more times than I care to admit.

But I have walked ridges sculpted by the hand of God, stumbled upon the most beautiful dawns, discovered images in my viewfinder, and found entire stories upon my page, simply by starting out.

Start out. You don’t need to see the whole way. Just start.  And see what happens.

The Secret Recipe

The Secret Recipe

Brené Brown, in her beautiful book The Gifts of Imperfection, has a wonderful exercise: List your “ingredients for joy and meaning,” she instructs.

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It’s a powerful exercise because, for most of us, the ingredients are pretty simple; and they don’t cost very much. For me, they’re a long gentle trail run, feeling the wind on my face on a mountaintop, having the time to read a good book, sitting on my deck watching the sunlight fade, or sharing a simple meal with my wife, my best bud, Ann.

But, for some reason, many of us lose track of our ingredients. Instead we race around looking for new and exciting places to go, and the latest shiny toys to buy. (Don’t get me wrong, I love to travel, and I really like nice toys.) You plan grand things and then, all too often, end up exhausted and depleted. (Do you remember that last vacation when you had to go back to work to rest up from?) And you wonder why you’re missing out on joy and meaning.

You focus single-mindedly on the destination (as success driven folks tend to do); and neglect the journey. You get lost in the doing rather than the being.

Maybe Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz had it right. Maybe your heart’s desires isn’t so far away after all.

Maybe joy and meaning are here. Right in front of you.

As you live into this last quarter of the year, it might be worthwhile to remember the ingredients. Your ingredients.

Will you do that?

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