Walt Hampton, J.D.

Creating the Work & Life You LOVE

Where Fun Goes To Die

Where Fun Goes To Die

But something touched me deep inside. The day the music died.

— Don McLeanAmerican Pie

My Favorite Question

It has become my favorite question to ask at professional functions: “So what have you been doing for fun?”

I get quizzical looks, looks of bewilderment, confusion.

Fun? What is this thing “fun”? Why would anyone think about fun at a meeting of the bar association? Who talks about fun in serious professional settings?

I may not be the only one. But I’m certainly one of the few!

Fun Has Died

For so many, there is no fun. Life is serious. Work is serious. Time away from work is serious. Fun is fanciful. Fun has disappeared.

My friend Susan Biali, an accomplished flamenco dancer… wellness expert, speaker, writer, coach… and physician (!), wrote the magnificent book Live The Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You. On her Facebook page, she mentioned that she had seen a tee shirt that read: “Baylor Law School – Where Fun goes to die.”

Her sighting hit close to home. My Cornell law school classmates were a somber group. The rumors were true: students did razor blade pages from books on reserve. Competition was fierce. There wasn’t much in terms of lighthearted frivolity.

Time has not been kind. It seems as if most of my professional colleagues have lost their mojo: few have fun. Fewer still remember what fun once was.

One lawyer friend confessed to me that he used to love to wash his car on Saturday mornings because, for him, it was fun. But because the time wasn’t “billable,” and there was so much pressure from his firm to produce, he couldn’t enjoy what was once a simple pleasure. How sad is that!

There are exceptions: my lawyer-friend Mark likes to heli-ski; Jamie is a triathlete; my friend Harry finds joy in his home on the coast of Maine.

But by-in-large, it seems like adulthood is where fun has gone to die.

It doesn’t need to.

We are meant to have fun!

Find The Fun – And Follow It!

Fun feeds us. Fun nourishes our souls. Fun makes us whole. And it’s only when we’re whole and complete that we can best serve those we love; it’s only when we’re whole and complete that we can bring our gifts to the world.

Aristotle believed that happiness is life’s central purpose. It’s tough to be happy if you’re not having fun.

Our most important work according to the writer Alexandra Stoddard, recognized as a pioneer of the “Happiness Movement,” is “the active joy of living fully every moment.”

Active joy is fun.

Biali asks, “Is Fun alive and well in your life, or has it died a few deaths over the years? What do you do to make sure Fun lives in your life? And if necessary, how might you resurrect it?”

Here are some ideas:

  • Lighten up. Take yourself less seriously.
  • Take some unscheduled time off.
  • Go to the beach; go to the movies; go to a museum.
  • Draw; photograph; paint.
  • Raft a river; climb a mountain; go on safari.
  • Play; dance; go to a costume party; sit by the fire and tell stories.

In his Stanford University commencement address, Apple founder Steve Jobs said:

For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something….

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose…. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

There is no reason not to follow the fun.

SOSDD or DIY

SOSDD or DIY

Have you already settled back into the familiar slipstream?

The year began with so many possibilities.

A few weeks in, it’s easy to lose sight of them.

But you can still claim those hopes and dreams you had back on the threshold of the New Year. You can still choose.

  • Will you choose health and fitness?
  • Will you choose work that deeply satisfies?
  • Will you choose a relationship that nourishes and enriches?
  • Will you choose to serve and share?
  • Will you choose to learn and grow?

Or will you default to the same old same old?

Most folks who make New Year’s resolutions – and frankly only a few brave souls even bother – abandon the effort by the end of January (that’s right, by the end of this month). That’s because their “why” isn’t big enough; their drive is not strong enough; their discipline is not honed enough; and their vision is not clear enough.

And then this year becomes just like the last. SODD. (Same old shit different day.) Dull, bland, and vanilla.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

You can create a masterpiece. You can choose to make your life extraordinary. You can design a life lived on your own terms, rich and full and satisfying: A purpose-driven life.

Designing It Yourself is not easy; it’s not simple. The DIY path is steep and winding.  There are obstacles and dangers; fears and frustrations; and failures along the way.

And it’s certainly not for the faint of heart. Those who take on the project of life design know that the road ahead will be filled with challenges, that they will need good mentors and coaches, that they will need to avoid the naysayers, and that they will need to surround themselves with folks who will affirm their effort and support the journey.

But, damn, it’s a whole lot more interesting – and fun; a whole lot more textured and satisfying – filled with wonder and awe – than vanilla.

To live out loud; to push beyond your comfort zone; to explore the impossible; to live with intention and purpose, with passion and possibility, with vision and hope; to live a life designed and co-created; to share with the world the gifts that are yours alone to share; to serve at the highest level possible; to lead the way for others: That is your call.  That is the obligation that each of us has in the world.

And if you take on this challenge, if you live from that place of authenticity and vibrancy, then a year from now, you will look back and say, “Wow, what a ride this has been.”

Step up. This is your year.

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If you’d like support along your chosen path, schedule a complimentary breakthrough strategy session today! Email me at: [email protected]

a silhouette picture of woman looking at the sky full of stars. lifting her arms up above.
About That Lie

About That Lie

I want to talk with you about that lie that you tell.

ThatLieYouTell

That one you tell all the time.

To yourself; to anyone who will listen.

That soothing lie.

That seductive pernicious one.

The one that goes like this: There’s time.

That there will be time to go on that trip you want to take, that second honeymoon, that book you want to write, the degree you want to get, the art you want to make, that new job, the new career….

That there will be time to heal the rift, soothe the hurt, and fulfill the dream.

That there will be time to connect with your precious boy, your sweet girl, that beautiful grandchild.

That there will be time to walk hand in hand on the beach; slow dance in the city square on a summer night; sip the coffee; savor the wine; and watch the sunset.

That there will be time after you get through this quarter, this year; after you’ve made a partner; gotten the promotion; after you’ve lost the weight; after the kids are out of high school, or college, or their student loans are paid off; after you’ve finished with the mortgage; after your husband retires; or you retire….

I want to talk with you about it because 2023 is a distant memory; you said maybe you’d get to it after the holidays, and it’s the middle of January…. because this year will disappear in the rearview mirror as fast as the last.

I want to talk with you about it because tomorrow is promised to no one; because now is all there is, and now is all you have.

I want to talk with you about that lie you tell… because I tell it too.

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When the time is right, when you’re ready to switch up the game, let’s talk. Email me: [email protected]

212

212

At 211º F, water is just water.

At 212º F, it will power a locomotive.

Just a 1º shift.

It’s the New Year. It’s snazzy to talk about everything you’re going to do be and have. Your BHAGs. Your Big Hairy Audacious Goals.

I like BHAGs. I like audacious.

And yet, as a distance runner and high-altitude mountaineer, I know that races are won one stride at a time; mountains are climbed one step at a time.

You’ll write your book one page at a time; create your program one block at a time; train for your first 10k one day at a time; craft your resume one line at a time.

Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “You don’t need to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step in faith.”

Oh sure, create a BHAG if you want to.

But never forget the power of just 1º. That can be enough.

Listening To Your Heart

Listening To Your Heart

What Is Your Heart’s Desire

January 12, 2023

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

How are you today?

I hope you’re rested, refreshed, and satisfied after your holiday celebrations.

But if, instead, you’re feeling dazed and depleted and maybe a little bit empty, you are not alone.

The holidays are a huge source of stress; a seemingly never-ending torrent of buying and wrapping and eating and drinking and binging and networking and connecting and partying; with concomitant unceasing demands and obligations and expectations.

Likely you’ve spent the last month (or more) hustling around fulfilling everyone else’s wants. Tending to the needs of others.

Maybe you think you’re done.

Except that you’re not.

It’s today. Another day. And while you can, perhaps, distract yourself for a little while longer, as you ring in the New Year, the day is coming soon when you will face the expanse – or the abyss – of the year ahead.

So today’s question is not about all those other folks you’ve been attending to. It’s about you.

What do you want?

What do you really want?

Not what you think you should want; or what you think you’re expected to want. Not what your father wanted; or what you’re mother thought would be right. Not what your partner or boyfriend or girlfriend or neighbors want. Not what your clients want. Not what some well-intentioned teacher or guidance counselor wanted for you.

Rather, what is it you want? For yourself. Right here. Right now.

The folks who read this blog are, by their very nature, givers. The challenge for givers is receiving. The challenge for givers is getting quiet enough to listen to the still small voice that speaks to us of our heart’s desires. The challenge for givers is giving to ourselves what it is we really, really want.

Because, we presume that what we want is bad. Or selfish. Or self-centered.

Or more frequently, we forget what we wanted. We become numb to our heart’s desire.

So before you start the new year, I have a challenge for you: Set aside some time just for you; and spend some time asking yourself (and perhaps journaling about) these questions:

  • If I could make my life any way I wanted it, what would my ‘perfect’ day look like? My ‘perfect’ week? What time would I get up? What would I wear? Who would I spend my time with? What work would I do? What projects would I pursue? What travels would I take? What would my ‘perfect’ life look like?
  • If this were my very last year on earth, what would I do? Would I stay in the same relationship; would I keep the same job; would I hang out with the same people; would I go the same places; would I do things the way I’m doing them right now?
  • If money were no object, if I won the $30 million dollar Powerball, what would I do? After I bought all the toys I wanted, where would I go; who would I go with; where would I spend my time; what experiences would I want to create; what legacy would I want to leave?

Because here’s what’s true: Those whispers that are in your heart, those dreams that you have, those projects you want to create, those places you want to go, the empires you want to build, the impact you want to make… they’re not random musings; they’re not accidents. They are the call of your Spirit, the Divine within you, showing you – telling you – the way.

So think. Write. Draw. Free flow. Tear down the boundaries. No limitations. Let your imagination run wild.

And then get busy. Because, that’s what you want. That’s what you really want.

That’s your heart’s desire.

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When you’re ready; when you’re ready to respond to that call deep within; let’s talk. Email me: [email protected].

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