The Tea Party loves them. The Republicans and the Democrats love them. Everybody loves them.

Values.

But what are they? The way folks talk about them, you’d think that they were wrought by Michelangelo or hanging in the Louvre.

Values are things that matter. Sure, there are probably some objective values. The Framers of our Constitution sure thought so: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and all that.  But, really, values are things that matter most… to you.

So what matters?

For me, it’s

• health and fitness
• time for travel and adventure
• my creative ventures; and
• life with my partner, Ann

What are yours?

Here’s an interesting exercise I do with coaching clients:  Pull out an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper. Draw a line down the middle. On the left hand side, list your top 5 values; on the right hand side, list the top 5 places you spend your time.

It would be great if you had a match with both columns.  Most folks find they don’t.

And here’s the scoop: Where you devote your time is really what you value.  You can say that you value fitness and never go to the gym. You can say you value health, and never cook a dinner. You can say you value reading, and then spend your nights in front of the tube. You can say you value your family, and then work 80 hours every single week in the office.

But there’s good news:  If there’s an incongruence that you don’t like, you get to switch it up.  You get to spend your time on what you really value.

I know. Easy to say. Not always easy to do.

I was faced with an interesting, and very challenging, dilemma this past week.  Without any advance notice, I was asked to make a court appearance on behalf of a client I had represented years ago, in a court across the state, two hours before it was slated to begin. It wasn’t the client who asked. It was the court. And the court was going to see that my fee was paid.

Now I like to please the court. I really do. I liked this client a lot. He was one of my favorites. And it would have been nice to make a few unexpected bucks.

By most objectives measure, it was something I should have done.

I declined.

I was on my way out to the gym; I would have had to have skipped my workout (see #1 on my list above). I likely wouldn’t have been home in time to make dinner with Ann (see #4 on my list). And I would have lost an entire afternoon of creative time for the preparation of a workshop I’m leading (see #3). Which would have required that I work much later into the night (see#1 and #3). Which would have resulted in… . You get the idea.

Deciding how and where we spend our time can be tough. Here’s what works for me:

• Be absolutely crystal clear on what you value.
• Write down what you value on a sticky memo; put it on your computer monitor.
• Whenever you’re faced with a decision as to how to allocate your time, ask “Is this really consistent with what I value?”
• Get good at saying “no.”
• And a warning: if you find yourself saying “this is something I should do,” you probably shouldn’t.

You’ll never get this right 100% of the time. But the effort is worth it.

You’ll be saner. You’ll have more time. And you’ll be living your life on purpose.

Now, that’s something to value.

Discover how to break away from “Survival Mode.” Live with purpose, passion and possibility. Find fun, freedom and fulfillment. You can have it all. I’ll show you how. Journeys on the Edge: Living a Life That Matters. Available now at: https://www.walthampton.com